Thriving as an Introvert
In my work as a relationship-focused therapist, I often connect with clients who are “empaths,” were shy as kids, or experience social anxiety as adults—all qualities associated with introversion. I support introverts and extroverts alike to get in touch with traditionally introverted skills like deep focus, self-reflection, and empathy to improve their relationships and their own mental health. I believe introversion is a superpower when appreciated and cultivated.
We live under various systems that tend to favor extroversion. In Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, Susan Cain describes how under capitalism, salesmanship and its related extroverted qualities became favored in American society. She cites loads of research that challenges the effectiveness of standard extroverted practices in corporate America such as open floor plans, brainstorming, and even meetings. Cain also emphasizes the value of introverts’ independence and deep focus through countless examples of innovation and social change made possible by introverts and these very qualities.
As a systemic therapist, I focus on the impact of relationships and culture on any individual client. I support people through the process of becoming more aware of the impact these outside forces have on their lives. Once identified, there is an opportunity to make more informed, life-affirming choices. This process helps to free people of the shame, self-doubt, and self-judgment that they were taught to have about parts of themselves.
Like anyone with identities that are undervalued by the dominant culture, introverts living under systems that favor extroversion can feel undervalued and depleted. Additionally, introverts are often highly sensitive to stimuli and need more alone time to recharge. To find greater alignment, we would discuss opportunities for them to be flexible, ask for accommodations, or consider what a more supportive environment would look like:
Understand where you can be flexible – are you willing to practice skills that would make you more visible in the workplace? If you shed self-judgment, can you change the way that you relate to your job or work environment? Corporations often over-emphasize their centrality to an employee’s life, and I often give my clients permission for work to just be work.
Identify where you need support – this could mean a quiet workspace or the option to WFH, or opportunities to collaborate that don’t require thinking on your feet in meetings.
Consider a change – when we get to know ourselves deeply, we become better equipped to make aligned choices. If your job isn’t a good fit and you or your employer are unable to be flexible, it’s probably time to consider a change.